Life has changed in recent years, and many people find they get their children out of the house just in time for one set of parents to move in. It is often involuntary on the part of all parties, and it is generally because one partner’s parents need medical care. They know they can depend upon their child to help them, but they must also deal with the spouse. Life with in-laws can be difficult, but it is often the spouse who is able to cope best.
Living with parents is difficult the last few years of many children, and they are often excited to leave home. They resent the restrictions placed on them by parents they believe are out of touch with the real world, and there is often a great deal of friction between them. Once the child has married and had children of their own, they might still harbor a few resentments against their parents. Having them move in due to their difficulties puts pressure on their child, so they turn to their partner for assistance.
It is true that many parents struggle with the choice of a partner for their child, and they may spend years not bothering to get along. Their indifference or outright lack of respect can color the relationship they have with their child and grandchildren. They might be estranged, or they could simply avoid any gatherings where the spouse is present, so there is eventually very little friction between them.
When the in-laws must move in, an understanding spouse will do everything possible to make the transition easy. Their thoughtfulness will often be recognized by all, and it is then that the parents begin to really appreciate them. Once they have established a new relationship, they will often find that it is easier on them and their child to involve the spouse with the difficult decisions and needs that must be met.